How I Won NaNoWriMo in 14 Days

1. Type. Type. Type. Type.

2. No editing, deleting, backspace-ing, or re-reading what I just wrote.

3. Type at every chance I got, even if it was for 10 minutes while the water for noodles was cooking.

4. Repeat.

 

Things I did NOT do:

1. Listen to music while I typed

2. Have a detailed outline or plot

3. Meet up with other local NaNoWriMos. (Although two Jugs members are participating, so we did talk things out a little.)

4. Use a notebook or anything when I was away from my computer or laptop, to jot down ideas.

Honestly, I found it more TEDIOUS than anything. Every day, it was like homework looming over my head, that I had to get done before I could go do anything fun.

 

I incorporated some elements of my life (the main character is a nurse at an infusion center who treats an anemic pregnant woman who is planning a homebirth; the main male character goes to a 72-hour drug detox — I volunteered at one when I was in collgege; there’s a subplot involving an unplanned pregnancy), some totally random stuff (main male character is an injured war vet; there’s a character who is a seminary student, as well as a divorced dad college professor), and just some random stuff for fun (a character’s mother is a very famous actress). That is pretty much it — I kept the plot simple enough so that I didn’t have to take notes. I didn’t mention any specific details about location or time frame (except several references to September 11).

And that was it. I feel a little more free now — I don’t have anything hanging over my head. Who knew I was an anti-procrastinator?

Actually now I’m thinking of what I NEED for Tax Deduction. I have boobs that are already producing milk. I have tons of cloth diapers. I got a lot of baby clothes at my shower/blessing. I would still like: My Breast Friend (Nice-Nice and Das Cinderella are both giving me their old ones; I’ll have an upstairs Breast Friend and a downstairs Breast Friend), Utterly Yours breast pillow; a TV with a remote so I can watch Netflix while I nurse; and some more freezer meals.

The very brief birth story of Animal and Mineral

Note: They are 7.5yo now, so many many of the details are hazy, but here’s what I recall. I wrote this for someone on mothering.com who asked about hospital vaginal birth of twins. Parentheses go into a little more detail for those who aren’t birthy people. I really wish I’d written their birth story just after I had them!

Monozygotic (“identical;” from one egg that split) twins with TTTS (they shared a placenta, with two sacs, and had a discordance in the shared blood vessels which is fairly rare).

I was induced at 34w due to IUGR  (intra-uterine growth restriction; not uncommon in TTTS donor twins) for several weeks (as seen in ultrasound) in baby A (Mineral). I had a lot of ultrasounds and non-stress tests and bio-physical profiles during the pregnancy due to TTTS. I was on bedrest from the day I found out I was having twins — with TTTS — at 18w til the day I gave birth.

I was induced with cervidil; I never had any cytotec or pitocin, thank goodness. I was supposed to get pitocin after 12h on cervidil, but I didn’t need it. They were born about 8h after it was inserted. I’m so grateful that the labor was fairly short.

I labored in my own clothes in a room on the “high-risk” floor — basically it just meant I was hooked up with continuous external fetal monitoring and there was no birth tub or anything cool like that. I had a fantastic doula who helped hold the monitors in place so that I could stand upright — I stood up for most of the labor. I am very grateful to her. I’m not sure I could have had a vaginal birth in the hospital without her.  (You can see her hand holding one of the monitors in my pic.)

I got off the monitors as frequently as possible to pee. I remember that being hooked up to two fetal monitors and one contraction monitor was REALLY annoying. It was hard to keep them in place. Luckily the nurses left me alone for the most part.

I had an epidural (by choice; I wasn’t into natural birth back then!) and felt the urge to push when Mineral”s water broke (spontaneously, fairly soon after the epidural). At that point I was rushed into an OR and could only have one person with me. I chose my mom (I was a single mom of twins, so it was just between my mom and my doula).

There were at least 10 people in the room. Obstetrician, maternal-fetal medicine doctor, nurses, neonatal doc, two NICU nurses — and for all I know there was a freakin’ orderly cleaning up in there, or a student, or a person reading time off the clock. I didn’t really care, except that they were all giving me different orders of what to do/not do. That was kind of scary, plus the urge to push was INTENSE. I felt overwhelmed.

(My mom always interjects the story of how I practically stood up on the bed and yelled, “Everyone calm down!” and one of the nurses gave me a look and said, “No; YOU calm down!” SNORT. I was 23 years old, I was single, I was not supposed to be in labor yet, and everyone was YELLING AT ME. Bitch.)

Mineral shot out without crowning. He was the donor twin, only 3lbs 11oz. Animal”s water broke about five minutes later and his foot slid out. He was a foot-first breech. At that point, everyone really started to yell at me to push. I did, and out he came. He was 5lbs 10oz.

Mineral

Animal

I’d been told that because there was a size discrepancy (which is a TTTS thing), and because Animal was bigger, it might be hours between them, but it was only about 10 minutes, if that. As soon as they were out, I thought, “I can totally do this again!” and I did, twice more, at a birth center and at home. And planning another homebirth with this one.

They were in the NICU for a week, a pediatric room for a few days after that, and then we all went home. They were kind of small compared to other kids for the first year or so, but they caught up fast.

The Wrist-Hair of Doom

I feel like I’m becoming Mrs. Duggar, or a moms on “Kids By the Dozen” — of which RenRedux’s cousin is one! — with all these weird pregnancy-related symptoms. At least I can comfort myself with the fact that this is only kid #5, so it’s not like this is normal for me. Here goes the freakshow list:

1. The Long Wrist-Hair of Doom (no picture)

I can’t take a picture because it’s just this one tiny hair but it grows like three times as long as my other arm hair — but only when I’m pregnant. It’s so weird. One hair. Only when I’m pregnant. If it were dark, I’d pluck it, but it’s actually very light. And long. It blows in the breeze.

2. The Cavernous  Diastasis Recti of the Mountains

My friend Heather first noticed it several months ago. I was laying down on my couch so that she could palpate my uterus — she has two sets of identical twins, and I wanted to know if she thought my uterus felt huge and freakish like hers had — and as I started to sit up she said, “Nice diastasis.” I was like, “What the what?” And then I looked it up. Somewhere between the twin pregnancy, the two singletons that followed, the weight gain, the incredibly invasive weight-loss surgery, the subsequent weight loss, and this pregnancy and weight gain (20lbs so far, and enjoying every meal), my abdominal muscles separated. And the space between is cavernous. And it moves.

Tonight I went out with Wii and we got pedicures and as I settled in my chair, it moved and the pedicurist (?) got all excited that the baby was kicking me. I said, “Nope, that’s just me,” and I flexed my stomach muscles (SNORT!) for her to make it move more. She was very impressed. (Incidentally, the baby is the size of a speck, and the kicks I feel are very low.)

It is begging for a name. “The Cavernous Diastasis Recti of the Mountains” is too long. Please advise.

3. My feet are growing.

This is a normal pregnancy one, but I find it particularly offensive. Shoes are expensive. Especially considering that last year I made a commitment not to buy cheap shoes — only high-quality footwear for me. Like my Keens, which actually probably still fit because I bought them a little big. But my Vibram Five Fingers are too small. UGH. UGH UGH UGH! They’re so comfy — unless they’re too small and squishing your right big toe. Even my ugly Cr*ocs are tight.

4. Beware the tiny cut

I tend to get infections when I’m pregnant. I hypothesize that my body does such a fantastic job gestating a baby, it forgets all about ME. After all, let’s not forget what this baby has been through so far: an abdominal and pelvic C/T scan with contrast dye; cold medicine — the kind that you’re specifically not supposed to take when you’re pregnant, it says on the box — for a few days; assurgery under general anesthesia followed by a month on hydro*codone (I miss you, hyco!); and the usual lunchmeat/unpasteurized milk that I consume daily. My body freakin’ LOVES being pregnant. When I was pregnant with Animal and Mineral, the high-risk Obstetrician I saw due to their Twin-to-Twin Transfusion Syndrome said that I do an awesome job at being pregnant*

*If only I did such a great job at parenting. My Masterpiece just walked into the computer room, completely naked, with a waffle in her hand, which she aimed at me and said, “A gun! A gun! Psssht! Psssht! Psssht!”

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 409 other followers

%d bloggers like this: