Toddler Nursing (take one)

Posted on September 27, 2012 by Erika

I say “take one” because I didn’t nurse the rest of them as long as I’ve nursed Buffalo — 21 months and counting. Because I used a lot of donor milk to supplement her for the first year, I wasn’t even sure that she would continue nursing into toddlerhood. But — ha! She’s gone through periods of time where she was more interested in the world than my boobs, but like a bad ex-boyfriend, she just keeps going back.

What I am trying — ineloquently, probably because I’m so sleep deprived — to say, is that she is still nursing and she’s a toddler. Which means that while we’re nursing she does the following:

1. Twiddles

2. Kicks

3. Sings

4. Pinches

5. Climbs

Or everything simultaneously. She also wants a snack at any time of the day or night, with my nipple available — pointing directly at her mouth — whenever she wants.

How self-centered!

 If this didn’t interrupt my sleep, I wouldn’t give a shit. But it does. She doesn’t want to sleep unless she’s attached to me — and not just my nipple. After a long day of… what is it I do? Oh yes, being a mom!… I’m ready not to be touched by sticky hands at 9pm. I want to be left the hell alone with the DVR and My Chemical Romance and my Kindle and a bath and People Magazine. I want to glance at my calendar and note what we’re doing the next day (today’s agenda: get knives sharpened at Farmer’s market, take everyone to gymnastics class, cook dinner) and go to sleep.

It’s like having a newborn again. I remember dreading bedtime, because I was so tired, and I just wanted to GO TO SLEEP, but I couldn’t just GO TO SLEEP because SHE WHO MUST BE COMFORTED had to be comforted to sleep first. By the time I got her comforted, I was keyed up and wired and unable to sleep, myself. Then she’d wake up and want to nurse (insert any of the girls’ names for SHE. Or even the boys.) Except this SHE isn’t a baby, she’s almost two!

/sleep-deprived-attached-mommy-rant

Filed under: attachment parenting, breastfeeding, family | Tagged: , , | 2 Comments »

Dr. Phil Discusses Breastfeeding

Posted on June 4, 2012 by Erika

I was driving home from Zumba — yes, I’ve crossed something off my now-I’m-33-years-old list — and listening to a radio show. The host was discussing Alanis Morisette, who has vowed to continue nursing her son (who shares a Christmas 2010 birthday with Cousin It) for as long as he wants and how weird and bizarre and gross that is.

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. Yes, we’re STILL talking about extended nursing and how totes cray-cray it is. The radio show host’s “expert” was Dr. Phil McGraw.

Dr. Phil (Flickr: Greggoconnell)

Since Dr. Phil works in entertainment, and no longer holds a license to practice psychology, I was expecting that he’d jump on board with the whole “breastfeeding past the age of XYZ is not okay”–

– while we’re on the topic of time limits suggested by people who don’t have children or have never nursed, the most eye-rolling one I read is “you should stop breastfeeding when they kid is old enough to ask for it.”

Animal and Mineral didn’t talk much til they were two. And I don’t think they could have said, “Mommy, can we please have breastmilk now?” until at least three. And yet some kids can say it at one-and-a-half — and many children can make the sign for “milk” or “nurse” before the age of one! Suggesting that the right age for weaning has anything to do with when children start talking is ridiculous.

Another one, brought to my attention by Miss Manners is, “when the kid can reach into your shirt.” Have you ever had a baby and nursed it? They can start reaching into your shirt pretty early in the game. Or maybe they’re too polite and never do it. Yet another dumb timeframe.

I digress.

So, Dr. Phil was asked about Alanis’ proclamation and his response was fairly awesome. First he mentioned the health benefits of breastfeeding until age two. He talked about other countries and cultures where breastfeeding til much older than two is the norm, and the risks to children in third-world countries who aren’t breastfed.

Fine, Radio Host says. He reluctantly admits there are benefits to breastfeeding. “But what about sexualizing young children?” This was, of course, the crux of his argument for how gross and inappropriate it is to breastfeed past the age of one.

But Dr. Phil did not take the bait. “To kids, it’s not sexual at all! We see breasts as sexual. Kids don’t.”

GO DR. PHIL! I KIND OF LIKE YOU NOW!

When pushed, he said that his personal opinion is that children should stop breastfeeding by the age of two. However, he added that “there’s not a shred of evidence that suggests that long-term breastfeeding is harmful to a child.”

Do not put food on this plate — I WANT NURSIES FOREVER!

I am hopeful that the millions of listeners will consider Dr. Phil’s words — and maybe give him some credence since his name includes the word DOCTOR — and start subscribing to the idea that breastfeeding is normal. And also, that child-led weaning is normal, and is a natural process.

I have never done child-led weaning — my first three kids were hardly breastfed, unfortunately, due to a variety of reasons; I weaned My Masterpiece so I could have weight-loss surgery when she was 13mo — and I’ll let you all know about it when it happens. In a year or two or four.

Filed under: attachment parenting, breastfeeding | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

What I Would Tell New Moms

Posted on April 19, 2012 by Erika

1. It doesn’t matter how you gave birth — you have a baby now.

That may sound surprising for someone who has had two homebirths and advocates strongly for midwifery care, but once the baby is out, it’s kind of a moot point. However, for your sake I hope you didn’t have to have cesarean surgery, or if you did, I hope that the recovery is easy and it doesn’t interrupt your nursing relationship.

2. You need more clothes and diapers than you think — but less of the other stuff.

Things I found essential include a My Breast Friend, a Miracle Blanket, a Moby wrap carrier and nipple shells to protect your nipples from anything touching them… and that’s about it. I had two My Breast Friends, one for upstairs and one for downstairs. Newborn babies poop and spit up a lot, though, and I’ve always been shocked at how much laundry I do each day. So get some extra clothes.

3. Nursing can be very challenging — but gets better after a while.

I’ve been lucky enough to have two really good experiences with nursing, but my first three kids were barely breastfed at all. I regret that tremendously. I wish I’d been armed with more knowledge than I have breasts and they have mouths. There’s a lot more to it than that! I wish I’d been more supported by family members, and I’d been more confident — or even insistent — in my decision to breastfeed. Because at 3:00AM when your baby is crying and has been nursing for the last seven hours in a row, it’s easy to think that making a bottle will be okay just this once. And there’s so much SUPPORT for bottle feeding. Dad can help! Mom can rest! Grandma can feed the baby! Mom can get away from the house without baby! Bottle feeding is awesome!

4. Take All the Time That You Need — don’t worry about bouncing back.

Having a baby is a big deal. It takes more than two weeks — or even two months — to get used to it. People seem to expect that a new mom should just bounce back in every way: physically, emotionally, intellectually. But you don’t have to think that way. Having a baby changes your entire life, and puts you in charge of someone else’s life. It’s a big deal. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad if you take months to get used to your new life.

5. Ignore the Advice — Even the well-meaning advice.

Just focus on meeting your baby’s needs. Everyone — including me! — has suggestions on how to make your life easier, better, less stressful and things that worked perfectly for our children (or didn’t work at all, so you should avoid it). Try to tap into your mom intuition. Remember that crying is the only way a baby can communicate with you, and baby truly doesn’t want you to be a sleep deprived, bloody-nippled zombie.

20120419-085656.jpg

Filed under: attachment parenting, birth, breastfeeding, family, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Milk donors, wet nurses and diseases: is it safe?

Posted on January 10, 2012 by Erika

I received a comment on my post about wet nurses, from someone who wanted to know if I’d asked Porcelain’s wet nurses and pumpers to abstain from intercourse with their husbands. Um, no. As awkward as it can be to ask for breast milk, asking for breastmilk AND for celibacy within their marriages — that’s too gauche even for ME. And I’m the same mom who once made a really dirty joke at the dentist’s office when the hygienist asked me to open my mouth wider! 

That comment got me to thinking that I asked nothing of Porcelain’s nursers other than their milk, and was that dangerous at all? I felt a moment of panic — and then another moment of, Psht, it’s all inside her now anyway. I asked My Chemical Romance what he thought about the idea of Porcelain possibly contracting diseases from donor breastmilk, and his response was Meh.

I decided to do some research. According to the CDC,

What can happen if someone else’s breast milk is given to another child?

HIV and other serious infectious diseases can be transmitted through breast milk. However, the risk of infection from a single bottle of breast milk, even if the mother is HIV positive, is extremely small. For women who do not have HIV or other serious infectious diseases, there is little risk to the child who receives her breast milk.

Doing some further research on the CDC website:

Breastfeeding is NOT advisable if one or more of the following conditions is true:

The infant whose mother:

  • Has been infected with the human immunodeficiency virus (HIV)

  • Is taking antiretroviral medications

  • Has untreated, active tuberculosis

  • Is infected with human T-cell lymphotropic virus type I or type II

  • Is using or is dependent upon an illicit drug

  • Is taking prescribed cancer chemotherapy agents, such as antimetabolites that interfere with DNA replication and cell division

  • Is undergoing radiation therapies; however, such nuclear medicine therapies require only a temporary interruption in breastfeeding

I did not ask about these conditions/medications. Nobody mentioned being at risk.

Another article finds that HPV can be found in breastmilk. Also, traces of West Nile virus — although a West Nile expert said he wasn’t sure that it could be passed through breastmilk. Breastfeeding with cytomegalovirus (sp?) is safe because although it can be passed, breastmilk actually protects against it (how cool is THAT?!?!?)

So, all in all: the risks are HIV and active tuberculosis.

This is probably one of the reasons that people will buy milk from a milk bank rather than receive it from random pumpers, because there IS a risk. However, given my situation and the amount of milk Porcelain received, I think any risk is very small.

And also, who says formula is risk free? I don’t have time right now to link to sites about formula risks, but I will leave you with one word: BEETLES.

Okay, and one link to information about it.

Filed under: attachment parenting, breastfeeding | Tagged: , , , , | 7 Comments »

The Nursing Mommy Wars: Part Suck(le)

Posted on January 7, 2012 by Erika

Please, dear god, let this be a North Carolina Southern thing, and not because all women are idiots. Amen!

More than I hate the morons who think nursing is disgusting or gross or that they shouldn’t be forced to see that (the hell?!?!), I hate nursing moms who hate on other nursing moms.

For example: Recently I posted my Target nurse-in video in a Facebook group and another mom commented that our Target protest wasn’t a good protest because it’s not natural to sit in the aisle of Target and nurse.

Here I am, unnaturally nursing my baby in the aisle of a Target store. FOR SHAME!

And then I woke up from the nightmare that is my life and replied that, DUH, since nursing itself is natural, anywhere a woman nurses is natural.

Right?

She further said that a better way to protest would be simply to nurse as usual. Well, okay then, Steel Magnolia, I will! And if my baby wants to nurse while I’m browsing in Target, I might just sit down in an aisle and nurse her. And if other nursing moms see me nursing and need to nurse their babies, I will invite them to sit down in an aisle with me. And then — voila! — nursing as usual in a group of moms in an aisle of Target.

Ugh, ugh, ugh.

In all seriousness, I hate the mommy wars, but more than that I hate the nursing-moms-who-don’t-want-you-to-nurse-because-you-don’t-do-it-right-and-give-other-nursing-moms-a-bad-name.

I give these women some credit for nursing their babies. However, I take some credit away for their insistence on being “discreet.” This means that if their baby wants to nurse at an inconvenient place/time they would (1) go into another room, (2) abandon a cart full of groceries to go nurse in the privacy of their car, or (3) cover themselves, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. Nobody wants to see THAT.

Even a 6-year-old knows that nursing moms should be covered up!

 

I think this kind of bullshit — and that’s really the only word I can think of to describe it — discourages some moms from nursing. Especially in the early postpartum period when most moms are feeling weird anyway (physically, emotionally, mentally). Add to that  a hungry baby and concern about offending strangers in Target who will cluck their tongues in disapproval, and it’s a recipe for disaster.

Obviously, I’ve never been the kind of mom who worries about offending anyone. While I don’t exactly welcome it, I basically don’t give a shit. I think it’s a benefit of getting older and having more kids. I see that there’s more than one way to skin a cat. (You know I’m all for skinning cats.) But there are moms who are more… gentle… than me, and don’t want to offend people, and don’t want to draw a lot of attention to themselves. And to them I want to say, Ignore the haters. Just nurse your baby. If you want to cover up, then cover up. If you want to go somewhere else to nurse, then do it. But just keep nursing.

Filed under: attachment parenting, breastfeeding | Tagged: , , , | 2 Comments »

Target Nurse-In

Posted on December 31, 2011 by Erika

Of course I attended the Target Nurse-In. I love using breastmilk as a form of rebellion! In all seriousness, I am totally baffled by the reactions people have to public breastfeeding, but sadly, people DO have negative reactions to breastfeeding. It ranges from the somewhat-clueless (“Why can’t you just pump and feed the baby from a bottle?”) to the completely obnoxious and ignorant (“You say breastfeeding is normal, but so is peeing, and I’m not allowed to pee in public so why should you be allowed to breastfeed?”)

The truth is that when I’m nursing Porcelain in public, I don’t give a shit about YOU or how uncomfortable it makes YOU. I’m thinking of Porcelain and how she needs/wants nursies. However, some moms aren’t as… confrontational?… as I am. Some moms feel bad when people give them dirty looks or say nasty thing.

Indeed, I do feel bad that people want my baby to eat in the bathroom, or that I should ignore her needs until we’re in the car or at home rather than nurse her in public. 

I wish people would stop giving lip service to BREAST IS BEST and actually encourage breastfeeding. It is best for babies, it’s free, and it even helps moms — breastfeeding reduces the risk of breast cancer! However, the attitude that breastfeeding is something that should be hidden or done discreetly really discourages moms from nursing. Sometimes you just can’t nurse discreetly, like when you have a 1yo nursing. It looks like this:

So, I was at the Target Nurse-In in Cary, which happens to be the Target right by my house. I met some great moms — including a mom who works for the ACLU, she was a fantastic resource — and I happened to get on the news. Here I am, with Porcelain, at the Nurse-In.

Target Nurse In

(Trying to figure out how to embed it.)

Filed under: attachment parenting, breastfeeding | Tagged: , , , , , | 2 Comments »

The Hook-Ups

Posted on December 24, 2011 by Erika

**No this is not a post about my experiences in college**

These women went above and beyond to help me get milk:

1. MPP

I have literally known MP since elementary school, and thanks to Facebook we’re “friends” again. MP lives in Colorado and feels very passionate about breastfeeding — she has donated to the Colorado milk bank (and donating to a milk bank is a huge pain, as you have to answer a zillion questions and get tested and stuff). She emailed me one day after seeing my status update about needing milk for Porcelain, and offered to send me 200 ounces. From Colorado. How awesome is that?!?!? I did not need it thanks to local donors, but I’m so blown away by her generosity!

I have known MPP since I looked like this. Now, The Informant looks like this!

2. TGA 

Yet another old time friend. I was her freshman mentor in college — 1998! She had a baby last year and has been nursing him, and when I planned a trip to Michigan to visit family, she offered to pump for Porcelain so I would have a local stash. She pumped and pumped — and even a power outage couldn’t stop her. She and her family stayed somewhere else (at a hotel? with a family member who had power?) but she attached her milk freezer to a generator so it would stay cold. Every day TGA sent her husband to check on Porcelain’s stash while they waited for their power to come back. Sadly, we ended up not going on the trip because we moved here instead. But I appreciate the effort SO MUCH!

TA, in 1998, in a friend's dorm room.

3. Meliea aka The Hook Up Artist

Doula, childbirth educator, mom, wife, VBAC’er and all around amazing woman. She is no longer lactating, but when I was desperate for a few days worth of milk — my Jugs have older babies and didn’t pump enough to sustain Porcelain — she got me several hundred ounces of milk within an hour. Wii and I drove from one end of Charlotte to another collecting milk from her friends and clients. If you need some drugs, I can’t tell you where to go, but if you need some breastmilk just call Meliea.

4. SA, KP, LI and LT

All strangers — and now at least Facebook friends — who happily gave me milk for Porcelain. I share a special bond with LT because our babies were born on the same day. They’ll both turn 1yo on Christmas and love to nurse, get into everything and bite us. LT is a tiny thing, she kind of looks like Tinkerbell with dark hair, and her baby has more rolls on him than the Michelin Man. I love donor milk from mamas of chunky babies!

5. CJ

A fellow doula and childbirth educator, she said, “I have this milk that’s been in a deep freezer for two years but if you need milk please take it!” And I did. And I used it.

Filed under: attachment parenting, breastfeeding, friends | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

The Pumpers (Part One)

Posted on December 23, 2011 by Erika

First of all I have to thank another Wet Nurse who I forgot:

Rachael from Letters to Ames: Porcelain and I escaped the insanity of my own house to bring Rachael a meal when she had just had her twin girls. I remember what it was like having newborn twins. (Actually I don’t. In fact, Rachael may not even remember that I was there; such is the first year with twins. Or three years.) She had plenty of milk to go around and she nursed Porcelain, even though her own nipples were really sore from having new babies. Thanks, Rachael! You’re handing this whole twins’ thing beautifully!

And now the pumpers:

1. AJ

One of the first things I did when Porcelain needed donor milk was ask my local La Leche League group if anyone had any extra milk in their freezer. I’d been attending LLL even before my pregnancy with Porcelain, because I was a doula and childbirth educator at the time. I attended meetings all throughout my pregnancy — even at a week past my due date. A lovely mom of an absolutely gorgeous cherubic baby offered me some milk from her freezer. She gave me about 200 ounces. A few weeks later she asked if I needed more and I said yes — at the time Porcelain was taking about 16 ounces per day. She gave me another 200 ounces. By the time I moved to Raleigh I had literally cleared out her entire second freezer of milk. I think she gave me around 800 ounces total.

(July 2010) Porcelain drinks donor milk -- I used the bag itself as a bottle liner.

2. HT

HT was a doula client of mine — my last doula birth before I “retired” from birth work. She had an amazing home waterbirth, and I’m not just saying that because she provided lots of chocolate and snacks for her doula and midwives! However, after the birth she had some serious breastfeeding challenges. I remember going to visit her and she was pumping and crying. I promised her it would get better. I promised her that breastfeeding is 98% intention and that she WOULD get through this and go on to nurse her baby. A year later I went to her for donor milk because I knew she was pumping (and nursing). When I told her how upset I was about not providing enough milk for Porcelain, she reminded me of the WISE WORDS SOMEONE HAD ONCE TOLD HER. They were my words.

**Bonus: she used really awesome milk bags that NEVER ONCE LEAKED.**

3. JH

After I contacted La Leche League and HT, I posted on my local Mommies Network, in the breastfeeding forum, to ask if anyone had any extra milk or would pump for me. Lo and behold, a total stranger offered to pump for me. She was concerned about her coffee intake affecting the milk, and I said coffee was the least of my concerns. We met a few times so I could pick up milk. One week we tried to find a time to meet, although we were both busy on Saturday morning — we were both going to the Great Strides Walk for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. It was then that we realized we had a mutual friend — Stitches, my Jug, who was JH’s friend from school! The world is so small. I couldn’t believe that the total stranger who was pumping breastmilk for Porcelain had gone to school with my friend. (Just goes to show, once again, how awesome my Jugs are. They make great choices in friends.)

Great Strides for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation!

4. CA

CA was another total stranger who I actually found on craigslist. When we were getting ready to move to Raleigh I posted on craigslist looking for local milk donors. I did it very vaguely, since I didn’t want to get flagged about selling body fluids. I posted looking for “milk.” I said that my daughter takes donor milk and did anyone have any donor milk for us? CA contacted me — she loves craigslist — and we emailed a few times back and forth before she agreed to pump for me. (We were both feeling each other out to make sure the other wasn’t some weird fetishist, I think?) We met in person when her baby was about a month old — and CA makes the richest, creamiest breastmilk ever. We took our kids to the park together — she has four kids, and we both homeschool — I still appreciate that she didn’t hold it against me when Animal brought his Cub Scout knife to the park and showed it to a bunch of kids. Possibly by threatening to kill them. In other news, CA donates milk to many many mamas in the Triangle area.

5. NS

Another local mama — I think I found her on mothering.com — NS had a very premature baby, and she pumped and pumped and pumped while her baby was in the NICU. She ended up with a huge surplus of milk, which she graciously gave to me for Porcelain. When we met she told me that 95% of NICU mamas discontinue pumping early. She is still going — and nursing! — today. Go NS! **Bonus: her milk came in NICU-style bottles so they never spilled.**

Got breastmilk? NS does!

My list of donors will continue in another post…

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The Wet Nurses

Posted on December 22, 2011 by Erika

Porcelain is about to turn 1 year old on Christmas, and since birth she has only ever had breastmilk. At first it was mine, but as she got older and didn’t gain enough — she gained about 3oz/week and most IBCLCs want to see a baby gain 6oz/week — she got others’. This is just the first in a series of THANK YOU blogs for the women who made sure my baby only ever had breastmilk.

**Note: most women make adequate amounts of breastmilk — and just because your baby cries, it’s not a sign that you don’t have enough milk. I personally don’t make enough because I had a breast reduction and I also had weight-loss surgery. I knew that Porcelain didn’t get enough milk because she hardly had any wet or poopy diapers, and also because she wouldn’t go into a deep sleep. As soon as I started supplementing her with more milk, she started sleeping.**

The Wet Nurses

1. Mary F. Poppins, Nice-Nice, The Happy Mathlete and Lady Beaver of the Syllables

Of course, my Jugs nursed Porcelain! They were thrilled (at least, Mary F. Poppins was thrilled) and Nice-Nice even tandemed nursed — which probably prepared her for when her new baby is born and she’ll tandem. The other Jugs all would have nursed Porcelain, except they were no longer lactating.

Mary F. Poppins nurses Porcelain and tries to prevent a let-down on the other side.

Nice-Nice tandem nursed her baby and my baby into drunken stupors.

2. MPSS

My Car-Seat Obsessed Kohls-and-Costco-shopping Buddy. She came over and nursed Porcelained and watched all five of my kids while I did a research study for Britax and received a car seat for it. (She also did the research study on a different day and got a car seat.)

3. Heather from It’s Twinsanity

Was there ever any doubt that a woman who nursed two sets of twins — concurrently; she was nursing FOUR CHILDREN for two years straight — would nurse Porcelain? She also had a HBAC of twins and her husband was deployed for two years and she has six kids in eight years — she’s the awesomest. When Porcelain was born, she sent a beautiful blanket that she made. Because she has so much free time!

Heather just strapped her on and nursed while we walked through the zoo.

Nursing while pushing a stroller and handing out snacks to ELEVEN children.

4. SW

I received a really interesting email from SW: “Hi. I just had a baby and I’m engorged with milk. I hear your baby needs some extra milk. I think this could be a mutually beneficial situation.” Why, yes, SW, I think we can work that out! Interestingly, I knew SW a little bit and she didn’t strike me as THE TYPE who would offer to nurse another baby. I was very surprised — and pleased — that she so generously offered to nurse my baby. Thank you, SW!

5. CMC

It took me a while to become proficient at traveling with enough breastmilk, and occasionally I would be out somewhere and Porcelain would be hungry, and I wouldn’t have enough milk to satisfy her and we’d both cry. Such a situation happened one day when I was at a homeschool event at least 30 minutes from home, in another county. I called Little Miss Popular to ask who she knew nearby that was lactating . She gave me CMC’s phone number — we don’t call her Little Miss Popular for nothing! — and I called her like, “Hey, can you nurse my baby?” I knew CMC but hadn’t seen her in years — the last time we’d seen each other, The Informant had been a baby, and her third child had been a baby (now she had four and I had five). She tried to nurse Porcelain, but she wasn’t having much of it. Around that time Porcelain started to get picky about who she nursed from.

Part Two will continue with THE PUMPERS!

Filed under: attachment parenting, breastfeeding, friends | Tagged: , , , , | 12 Comments »

A Breastfeeding Deer in Headlights Moment

Posted on December 15, 2011 by Erika

Tuesday night I dragged my lonely self to a Book Club. I love reading. I love discussing books I read. I must love Book Clubs! We went to Melting Pot, which is an awesome if somewhat gimmicky restaurant. But oh, the chocolate dessert! I digress.

There were seven women there, all in their 30s and 40s and I was the only mom. Oops, I’ve now gone way outside my comfort zone! It was like I went on vacation from North Carolina with the intention of going to Florida, and instead I overshot it and ended up at the South Pole.

(Later, when I told My Chemical Romance about the women there, he was all, “Weird. What were they LIKE?!?!?!” I had Animal and Mineral within a year of graduating college, and I met him within a year of that. I know nothing of this married-professional-couple thing, or what they do or what they like. Although it seems to involve a lot of wine-drinking [blech] and outdoorsy stuff on weekends [fun!].)

Anyway, once we’d established that I was The Token Mom, several of them asked for Christmas present suggestions for their nieces and nephews (my answers were mostly Legos for boys, dress up stuff for girls) and one of them asked about nursing. This particular woman said she works with someone who still nurses her 18mo (Quell horreur!) and just didn’t get it.

It was a total deer in headlights moment. If I’d known this woman for more than an hour at a Book Club, I would have said that I TOTALLY GOT IT, that back when I met fuckface (Animal and Mineral’s birth dad), he had a child who was still nursing at nearly 3 years old and I was all DUDE HOW WEIRD IS THAT?!?!? and YOUR BABY MAMA IS CRAZY, YO. But I wasn’t sure I wanted to open that can of worms (fuckface, being a single mom of twins, meeting My Chemical Romance online and how he  we got married and then he adopted Animal and Mineral, blah blah blah).

So I said the lamest thing ever: “Nursing is really nice!”

Just like soup! And 60* days in December! And finding a check for $5 in your mailbox! 

Ugh. I wasn’t selling it. I wasn’t even convinced to nurse, based on that glowing review. Nursing is better than the cheese fondue course? Nursing is almost as good as fresh chocolate covered bananas? 

Later I thought of what I could have said: “Nursing is incredibly challenging at first — in my experience, and from what I have heard from other moms. A lot of moms give up in the beginning, but if you hang in there, it becomes really easy and even enjoyable — again, my experience and also what I’ve heard. Mostly it just becomes second nature after a certain amount of time. I nurse Porcelain five or six times a day — in the morning, before and after naps and before bed, and during the night — and other times if we’re sitting somewhere and she’s bored or tired or wants to nurse. After a while it becomes so normal that stopping it for arbitrary reasons — like because she’s a year old, or whatever — would be more trouble than just continuing.”

I’m not sure that would have sold her on it. But maybe when she becomes a mom, she will see what I’m talking about.

 

Filed under: attachment parenting, breastfeeding, Daily Life, Reading | Tagged: , , , | 4 Comments »

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