Scenes from a Weekend Visit to Charlotte

Posted on July 23, 2012 by Erika

Actually, I was just across the border, in Fort Mill.

I wore my newest pair of ugly comfortable shoes!20120722-205807.jpg
With mismatched socks, because I had to fug them up some more!

I always bring Cousin It because she’s attached and still nursing, but this time I also brought My Masterpiece and The Informant. 20120722-205856.jpg
They slept for the first hour, fought with each other for the second hour and complained about being hungry for the last hour. I took this pic while at a red light!

I was reunited with my birthday necklace from my friend Sarah, which I had left at Miss Manners’ house during my last visit. 20120722-210128.jpg
(Isn’t the necklace beautiful? Such a thoughtful gift, I love it!)

Miss Manners had to run an errand to a big bad warehouse store I haven’t shopped in for nearly five years.20120722-210338.jpg
We took the opportunity for a photo op with my online friend Tracey Garvis Graves’ bestseller, On the Island!

Saturday, Cousin It was wide awake at 6:30am.
20120722-210731.jpg
I’m not a morning person.

But! Later I got to see my Jugs and their adorable little Juglets!
20120722-210835.jpg
Cousin It looks at Stitches and Cross-Stitch (which I like better as a nickname than mini-Stitches.)

We were celebrating another Juglet’s birthday, little Eat, who turned three! I was there when he was born. I took pictures then too.
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Nice-Nice was multitasking: nursing Nice^3 and blowing out candles.

For dinner we had a delicious gluten-free meal: zucchini carbonara!
20120722-211624.jpg(I have been gluten-free since Friday, will write about it later this week.)

I intentionally spent some alone time with The Informant. 20120722-211753.jpgShe needed some TLC.

During Game night with all the Jugs, we caught sight of a new trick Miss Manners’ free-roaming chickens learned: tree-climbing (or flying).20120722-212221.jpgThe obvious answer is, To get to the other side, right?

The next afternoon, while I made a quick Target run, I was reminded why you should never leave Miss Manners in charge of a gaggle of children.
20120723-064705.jpgBecause this will ensue.

And no weekend would be complete without Cousin It sleeping. 20120722-212421.jpgWith her shoes on, of course.

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Weekend Recap and Five Kid Guilt

Posted on May 21, 2012 by Erika

This weekend I was at Miss Manners’ house with Cousin It, while My Chemical Romance was home with the rest of the crew. It was a jam-packed weekend which included dinner at my favorite restaurant on Friday evening, Cowfish, while Cousin It stayed with a babysitter. That part was kind of amusing — she was with a sitter I’d never met, but I’ve known her on Facebook for two years. So, really, Mark Zuckerberg babysat Cousin It, at least by proxy. She knows most of the Jugs personally — but had never met ME in person. She has one-year-old twins and a four year old — and an 18-year-old — so I knew she would be fine with yet another small child in her presence. And she was, and Cousin It did great, and we brought her back some Cowfish and everything was fantastic and the moon was in Mercury anterograde and life was awesome.

I looooove Cowfish. It’s a great restaurant, especially if you’re somewhat picky AND you have friends who are somewhat adventurous. They serve burgers and sushi. Everyone wins. I finally got to meet Stitches’ new baby, Mini-Stitches (so… Cross-Stitch?) and Nice-Nice’s new baby, Doesn’t-Give-Aide. They are so cute! They squeak! They nurse 24/7! They do not make my uterus long for the precious precious days of yore. I kind of still feel like I’m in the precious precious days of yore.

Image

at Cowfish!

Oh, wait, Nice-Nice wasn’t at Cowfish. Well, I met Doesn’t-Give-Aide the next night at Jugs. 

Saturday morning was Great Strides, the walk benefiting the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. I did not walk because of my butt pain, but I went out there in support. Stitches and her family, Lady Beaver of the Syllables, Prom Queen and Miss Manners walked. Miss Manners pushed Cousin It in the stroller, so I sat in Starbucks by myself for an hour. Saturday afternoon, I took a three-hour nap with Cousin It. It was delicious. In the evening we had Game Night, in which we mostly sat around and cooed over the squishy, cutely-squeaking babies and played all of one game. That’s okay. I miss everyone so much; I can play games anytime.

Sunday Miss Manners and I hung out. She was working on her spreadsheet for a homeschool field trip she was organizing, and I was feeling bad that I rarely take my kids to do things, or participate in things like that. You see, I have five kids. See?

Clockwise from bottom left: Mineral, The Informant, My Masterpiece, Animal and Cousin It.

And someone is always napping, or needing a nap, or hungry or whatever and every organized activity gets in the way of someone’s schedule. I am really grateful we were able to do weekly co-op. Also, we have no money. With Mineral being gluten-free, and the fact that we eat organic, our monthly food bill is approximately the same as our (totally exorbitant) rent.

One of the reasons I want to homeschool is so that my kids can experience fun, non-school activities and we rarely do those activities. Miss Manners immediately said, “But they’re getting a chance to experience childhood, and that’s important too.”

And I was like, OH! DUH! RIGHT! THAT’S IMPORTANT TOO.

And then I felt much better. My kids may not get to go on homeschool field trips or participate in many co-ops (Raleigh is TEEMING with homeschool co-ops; they’re everywhere), but they get to color and build things and jump on the trampoline and cook and do errands with me and spend time with their siblings and me and read. And that counts too.

Filed under: attachment parenting, Daily Life, family, homeschool | Tagged: , , , , , | 5 Comments »

Giveaway Winner!

Posted on March 1, 2012 by Erika

Sarah M — aka The Happy Mathlete! — has officially won my giveaway. She was the second commenter on all the blogs for the giveaway and randomizer.org declared 2 to be the (winning) random number!

Numero Dos

And what does she win?

Well, sadly, Sarah had already told me that she doesn’t want a fish. Okay, FINE, be that way.

And also sadly, Sarah did not win the awesome pink sparkly wallet.

But she DID win a pink wallet. With skulls on it. That have bows in their hair. And flowers. Made by me! 

I'm so crafty!

I will hand-deliver it this weekend at the baby shower/blessing ceremony for Stitches and Nice-Nice. Congrats, Happy Mathlete!

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One house, in need of a renter.

Posted on October 31, 2011 by Erika

Our house in Charlotte, NC, is still for rent. I can only imagine that the busybody neighborhood queen is simply scaring people off, although it may be the fact that the grass hasn’t been mowed since we moved, over two months ago. Also, that the builders used cardboard might have something to do with it. But none of that detracts from the fact that the backyard is fenced and 1/3 of an acre and includes a garden with lovely fresh compost. Which apparently is attracting bugs to the garage. ARGH@#$%@#%@#$@$#@!!!!

I like our house here, but the proximity to all of our neighbors gives me claustrophobia. I have all the blinds/window treatments wide open; the neighbors can see me when I walk around naked and yet still I have a sense of being boxed in. Also, the windows open from the bottom, so if we open them, Porcelain pushes out the screens. None of this detracts from the fact that winter is rapidly approaching and I doubt we’ll be opening any windows for a while.

We do have a fireplace that I’d love to see get some action this season.

This new job for My Chemical Romance gives bonuses, but they will probably go toward paying for two houses ::facepalm::

A year ago right now I was pregnant with Porcelain, and tried to do a “free-range” Halloween (ie, let my kids go through our tiny three-street neighborhood by themselves) only to be foiled by another neighbor who called me after about 30 minutes to let me know that my kids were with her. She said it in such a way that implied I was totally neglectful but don’t worry, she could save the day! So I tromped off with my giant belly and walked around with the kids and her, and ate some candy. This year I’m sure I’ll be dragged along in another group — although this neighborhood is bigger and we have only lived here a couple months, so that’s fine with me. I might get to know more people.

My current friend count stands at two, which is cool but one of those is my next door neighbor and I’ve been friends with her since I moved in. I’ve suggested play-dates (how I loathe that word) with two other moms, but haven’t gotten much of a reception. Mary F. Poppins, Nice-Nice and I used to go to the same La Leche League meeting, and then afterwards we’d go out for lunch at Big Daddy’s (now known as Bad Daddy’s, but we call it ba-ddaddys). Occasionally we’d offer a mercy invitation to some clueless new mom who was in that phase where the only adult interaction she has is with an automated phone system. Most of the women we invited out, I liked a lot. The irony is not lost on me that right now I’D GIVE ANYTHING FOR A MERCY INVITE TO DO ANYTHING. I’d even act incredibly grateful and possibly bake you cookies and listen to you blather about anything while nodding and smiling at appropriate times. In fact, you might not even like me because I’d reek of desperation for friends. The truth is, I’m just lonely. I have awesome friends who are hours away, My Chemical Romance thinks that this is THE PLACE we may actually put down roots, and I’m lonely.

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I hate wine.

Posted on September 25, 2011 by Erika

 

And I love my Jugs.

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The Pros and Cons of European Friends

Posted on September 20, 2011 by Erika

Two of my Jugs are European. Here are there pros and cons of being friends with them:

PRO:

Europeans are ridiculously cool and chic and better than Americans and they have free health care and college. That two Europeans have befriended me makes me ridiculously cool and chic and better than all the other Americans who they haven’t befriended. Also, I have health care and I went to college.

CON:

They’re kind of stupid about American words like “bathing suit” and “effusive” and “surreptitious” and playing American games like dominoes. When playing Scrabble-like games, they try to sneak in words like “ain,” and will argue vociferously (Mary F. Poppins: that means “vehemently”) that a 17th century Celtic dialect version of a word should count, dammit.

PRO:

They have a world-view as opposed to just a narrow-minded “how does this affect ME” point of view. They often speak multiple languages. They are very kind to people and socially conscious.

CON:

They complain about the stereotypes Americans have about Europeans (like, that they’re cool and chic?) and claim not to live up to them. For the record, both Euro-Jugs have nice teeth.

PRO:

Trip to a water park and no time to groom yourself? NO PROBLEM, you’ll fit right in.

CON:

When you mention how awesome and amazing Duke’s Mayonaise is, they will exchange an eye-roll of European superiority — apparently homemade mayo is all the rage over there — and they think that Hershey’s chocolate tastes bitter.

Filed under: friends | Tagged: , , | 2 Comments »

How to Make Friends

Posted on June 30, 2011 by Erika

Making friends is a lot easier when you’re in school or working; you have a built-in network from which to choose your peeps. Making friends as a stay-at-home mom isn’t quite so simple, but I’ve managed to do it, and do it well (if I can say so myself; my friends are freaking AWESOME and AMAZING, and I think it speaks highly of me that they’re my friends).

When I lived in Arizona, my BFF was Angela. We met at a MOMS Club get-together and bonded over our large families (both of which included then-2yo twins), messy houses, and love of Grey’s Anatomy. We were the only somewhat-crunchy moms in Yuma, Arizona. I am not exaggerating.  I literally never saw a cloth diaper until I bought one online and it arrived at my house, and I remember the first time I saw a mom wearing her baby in an Ergo because I’d never seen anything like it before. I chased her down and asked her all about it. She was not a local mom (duh, because Angela and I would have known her) but was stopping at a restaurant in Yuma while traveling between Phoenix and San Diego.

When we moved here — thank gawd, after almost three torturous years — I vowed I would find crunchy friends. I knew that in a big city I could suss out the granola from the Count Chocula and be discerning.

Although Charlotte has a large homeschooling community, I am not friends with many homeschool moms. As I’ve mentioned, they bring the crazy like never before — recently there was a discussion on a Yahoo homeschooling group started by a woman who objected to a post about homeschool yoga class because it’s a Buddhist tradition and therefore it’s the devil’s exercise. She preferred posts about camp to “teaching your child to give testimony for Jesus Christ as a war against the many many evils in this world (like yoga).” Again, not exaggerating.

Most of my friends are birth related — they’re natural birth supporters either personally or professionally or both.

I met them by being totally NOT discerning, and saying yes to everything. At least, everything crunchy.

La Leche League? YES.

A local screening of The Business of Being Born? DEFINITELY.

Trying out for “Birth” by Karen Brody after learning about it at the local screening of The Business of Being Born? ABSOLUTELY.

Attending monthly Holistic Moms Night Out at various restaurants that served food I hate because I don’t really enjoy “ethnic” food where “ethnic” means “includes spices more intense in flavor than a teensy bit of sea salt”? SURE!

Local doula group meetings? CERTAINLY.

I learned this tactic from my mom. When my dad first asked my mom on a date, a million and a half years ago, she wasn’t very excited. She told her friends that she was going out on a date with him. Her friends said — and I’m paraphrasing — a collective, “meh.” To which my mom shrugged and said, “It’s better than nothing.”

Eating food I hated? Listening to moms whose husbands insist they nurse using a cover? Being onstage? These were all things I didn’t enjoy (other than being on stage. I liked the attention.) But it was better than sitting home with My Chemical Romance, wishing I had friends.

I knew, I just knew, my friends were out there, and I’d probably find them if I just looked around.

So, get off your computer — although reading my blog is an excellent choice if you’re going to sit in front of the computer and be anti-social — and go to the babywearers meeting and make friends! Or the Overeaters Anonymous meeting, or the Weight-Loss Surgery Support Group, or the Moms of Multiples meeting — all places I’ve made friends. Go find your people.

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Social Anxiety: What Husbands Really Think

Posted on June 29, 2011 by Erika

Recently Mary F. Poppins and her husband, Mr. Mary F. Poppins, came over. Porcelain has gotten particular regarding cross-nursing, but MFP is the one person from whom she will happily nurse. (My theory is that MFP looks a little like me — dark hair and dark eyes, as opposed to my Amazon Aryan friend, Lady Beaver of Syllables, or Nice-Nice who is from Barbados.) Anyway, the three of us were chatting while MFP nursed Porcelain, and MFP was talking about something which makes her feel anxious.

Being the kind, sensitive, helpful human being that I am, I interrupted her to announce that whatever it was was a really stupid thing to feel anxious about, and she should really get over that, like, immediately.

After all, I know all about getting over irrational anxiety. I never worry about my children getting caught in tree-trimmers, or falling into a sewer because a street grate was loose, or My Chemical Romance accidentally poking himself in the brain with the marshmallow-roaster when he goes camping. Who, me, anxious? Why do you think that?? Was it something I did??? Do my completely random paranoias make it that obvious?!?!? TELL ME!!!! I CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS!!!!!

Mr. Mary F Poppins said, “It’s just Mary F. Poppins’ anxiety that makes her feel that way. She can’t help it. It’s her anxiety,” he repeated, in a way that implied I know nothing about anxiety and the klon*pin sitting in my bathroom cabinet is just gathering dust while I sleep soundly in the confidence that we’ll be able to send five kids to college on My Chemical Romance’s salary and my… homemaking skills, just like I’m certain they’ll never resent me for not reading to them enough, and did I remind them to brush their teeth before bed, and will My Masterpiece ever stay dry through the night? Is The Informant going to need jaw surgery? Am I feeding them enough vegetables? Will all these bottles of donor breastmilk and cross-nursing cause Porcelain to wean earlier than I want (say, age five or so)? AM I A GOOD MOTHER?!?!?! I just want to sleep!!!!

By the way, My Chemical Romance, when faced with the anxiety I experience blesshisheart, would have said, “It’s just my wife’s craziness that makes her feel that way. She can’t help it. She’s just crazy.”

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