Book Review: Gabriel’s Inferno

Posted on December 13, 2012 by Erika

3 Stars.

Take 50 Shades of Grey, mix it with some original Twilight, literary highbrow and a huge amount of sexism, and you’ve got Gabriel’s Inferno.

I can only recommend it under the following conditions:

1. You’re a sucker for an ALPHA male.

Because Gabriel is the ALPHA-est of Alpha males. He’s disgustingly rich, overly-educated, strong and powerful, as well as tattooed. Also, he takes erotic photography, drinks like a carp, is an esteemed professor and of course he’s got a body like a god. You’ve got your typical Alpha here.

2. Likewise, you like your heroines quiet, shy, guileless virgins who lets the man lead her.

How else can I say this? Picture Bella Swan. Now picture her six years later. That’s Julianne/Julia/Kitten/Rabbit/Beatrice whatever name some male character gives her.

3. You can wait over 500 pages for sex.

Of course, there’s petting and stuff, but… yeah. After a while, it really drags.

4. You don’t mind pesky things like details.

He’s her professor! Yet nobody finds out about their “courting.” Paul (who plays the Jacob role in this one) simply accepts that Julianne/Julia/Rabbit simply has a boyfriend and gives up. While the Dante discourse is somewhat interesting, any discussion of Julianne’s/Julia’s/Rabbit’s/Kitten’s/Beatrice’s study is relegated to a few sentences about how she’s found a new thesis advisor.

It gets 3 stars because in a looooooooooong book, I only found one extraneous comma, and while the waiting for sex part dragged, it was still somewhat erotic. But mostly I rolled my eyes and found Gabriel really sexist and annoying.

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Book Review: The Edge of Never by J.A. Redmerski

Posted on November 26, 2012 by Erika

The Edge of Never by J.A. Redmerski.

5/5 stars

Camryn is still mourning her boyfriend’s death — and the subsequent unraveling of her life — when she decides to take road trip. With no particular destination in mind, she gets on a Greyhound bus (ew). A few stops in, she meets Andrew, who is traveling to visit his dying father. Camryn is initially wary of him, but when he protects her from a fellow bus-traveling pervert, she decides to trust him, and after visiting his dad they go on their own road trip in his Chevelle (apparently that’s some sort of car).

Andrew’s spontaneity and happy-go- lucky demeanor are in direct contrast to Camryn, who is very guarded (as you probably should be when you meet someone on a Greyhound). Eventually he challenges her to let loose a little, and to her credit, Camryn embraces it.

20121126-073601.jpg (credit: nookbook.me)

I really enjoyed this novel. The beginning was slow moving, but once Camryn met Andrew, the pace moved along nicely. Though it may sound cheesy, Andrew’s zest for life was infectious. Camryn was reasonably cautious, but she couldn’t resist him for too long (who could?)

The author has written other books, and it shows. I don’t know how to explain it but to say that it was lot more cleanly written than many self-published or independent books I’ve read. And I’ve been reading a lot of those lately!

This book really won me over with its creative story, unusual characters and unique situations. It could have been really depressing but it wasn’t. Both Camryn and Andrew could have been one-not characters (depressed! Happy!) but they were written with a deft hand. While the language was simple, nothing flowery or over-wrought, the point came across well.

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I dipped my toe into erotica

Posted on October 10, 2012 by Erika

(Not in a toe-fetish way. Because, EW.)

I read an erotic book. I really liked it. I’ve been talking about it on my personal Facebook NONSTOP since I finished it. And very few of my friends will read it. Why? Why?? Why???

It’s called Captive in the Dark and just because the plot revolves around sex slavery, kidnapping, prostitution and DUBIOUS consent–

Nice-Nice said, “It sounds a rapey. I’ll pass.”

Prom Queen said: “It sounds horrible!”

Miss Manners said: “Barf.”

Mary F. Poppins said: “Are you sure I’LL like it?” (What does she think the F. stands for, anyway?)

Here is my 5-star review from Amazon:

IF you can get past the very violent, sadistic, graphic and extreme sex, I’d highly recommend this book. I realize many people will be completely turned off. Personally, I just kept an open mind. I’m aware there are lots of strange sexual proclivities in the world, and this is FICTION.

Most of my friends refuse to read it. Their loss!

All that said: this book is really intense, creative, unique and hot. The author really shot for the moon with her characters and plot — and she got there. The story is gripping. Even though the plot was completely foreign to me, I could follow it. Even though most of the characters are reprehensible, they’re also strangely relatable. All human beings understand the feelings of loss, captivity, lust, love, hate, shame — even if they don’t experience these things in such a physical way as the characters.

There were some comma issues, which I described in the review, but they didn’t detract much from the story. It was like watching a porn with a plot (not that I’ve ever seen a porn WITH A PLOT). Hard to look away.

I’ve clearly gone straight into freak mode. If there are more books like this out there, I’m okay with it!

Filed under: Reading | Tagged: , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Love, Unscripted: 10 Things I Hate about You

Posted on August 6, 2012 by Erika

You know those times you’re finished working at the business you own, which is situated near the local vineyards in which you invest, pondering how you’re wasting your Ivy-League college degree in economics, while sitting in the huge apartment you’ve personally designed, surrounded by the stained-glass art you like to make for fun, perhaps mindlessly strumming a tune on your guitar (or playing a piece on your baby grand piano), singing completely in-key, while your favorite football and/or hockey team plays on tv, nursing a beer and considering inviting your friends — some of whom you graciously employ; others in whom you merely invest some profits from your business — over for a game of pool or poker (at which you excel) and cooking a feast for them using your expert culinary skills — hey, maybe even some of the fish you caught while camping at your family’s lake house! — simultaneously feeling lonely because you’re woefully single despite being a tall, thin, blond/blue 27-year-old at whom men throw themselves?

No? Sucks to be you, then! It’s just another typical day for the protagonist in Love, Unscripted.

20120806-092506.jpgHow I picture Taryn

What could possibly be missing from Taryn’s life? Wait, I know: a man for whom she can cook, feed, provide shelter, love, sleep with, protect from fans, encourage, surprise, impress, honor and have multiple orgasms, that’s what!

But not just any man! The only man who fits the bill is Robert Pattinson Ryan Christiansen, hottest actor on planet Earth and star of a very famous series of movies that women love, based on a series of books that women love even more.

Not that Taryn would know this — she’s never seen a single movie in which Robert Pattinson Ryan Christiansen has appeared. Nor has she read any of the books on which his movies are based. Because, you see, she is not like other women! She falls in love with him for his true, inner (good-looking, funny, sensitive, rich, large-penised) self.

Taryn is an INDEPENDENT WOMAN. Sure, she wants to marry him and produce lots of Aryan Nation children with him, but that is no reason to forsake her responsibilities of running a bar in a small coastal town in Rhode Island. (Which is where Ryan just happens to be filming, hence their meet-cute.)

Where was I? Oh, yes. I was thinking that Robert Pattinson Ryan Christiansen is kind of a dick. Why? Well actually he’s totally not a dick at all, but compared to Taryn, everyone is a dick.

Honestly, that’s all I can say so far — I’m only 3/4 of the way through this 600+ page book — but I’ve disliked Taryn since about page eight so it’s been hard-going.

The sex scenes, however, are fantastic.

20120806-092757.jpg

Post-Script: I finished the book yesterday and found the last quarter vastly superior to the first three. Taryn finally begins acting like a human being and gives up the independent Superwoman thing that was so unbelievable for the first FOUR HUNDRED PAGES. She even tells Ryan to fuck off at one point!

My overall grade is a C+. It could be 200 pages shorter — yes, we get it, being a famous person comes with problems — and Taryn could have had a few more “normal person” characteristics. Better editing would have helped a lot. I hope the next book is more thoroughly vetted. Yes, I am going to read the next book in the series.

After all, the sex scenes were hot.

Filed under: Pop Culture, Reading | Tagged: , , | 3 Comments »

Book Review: The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

Posted on May 7, 2012 by Erika

(Yes, I’m a fast reader! In the last week I’ve finished Beautiful Disaster, On the Island [a few times] and now The Fault in Our Stars. I’m also reading a Sophie Kinsella book, just to relax. They’re like cheap wine-boxes of literature.)

Clearly I’m one of the few who didn’t love The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. I’m basing this off the overwhelmingly positive reviews on Amazon. The problem is, I can’t put my finger on why I didn’t love it — and because I didn’t love it I don’t feel the urge to re-read it. Also, the subject matter is teenagers with terminal cancer, so it’s not even something I want to revisit.

Credit: Amazon.com

Which is not to say I avoid books about children with terminal cancer, or other such depressing topics. I loved Room  by Emma Donoghue which is essentially about a little boy who, along with his mother, lives as a prisoner (and, of course, his mom is a sex prisoner). Also, I really enjoyed Every Last One by Anna Quindlin, which is a slice-of-life story about a family — until the husband and two children are killed by a childhood friend. Cheery! And yet, I found it compelling and well-written.

What I did love about The Fault in Our Stars: I don’t think any other contemporary writer writes like John Green. His writing is so nuanced — and it’s actually so nuanced that I can’t give a specific example of his nuanced-ness except to say that he is very nuanced. Maybe it’s the conversation about the cancer-support group that the leader claims is LITERALLY in the heart of Jesus, and the main characters’ discussion of whether they are LITERALLY (or not) in the heart of Jesus.

He also totally gets teenage thoughts and dialogue. The obnoxious, self-centered — while still being unsure and full of doubt — ruminations and retorts are perfect. Oh, sometimes I miss being a teenager, just for what you can think and say without getting in too much trouble because everyone just chalks it up to being a teenager! (And do not look forward to my children getting older for that very reason. Animal already rolls his eyes at me.)

So, it’s about young people with cancer. Hazel, the protagonist, has terminal cancer that could kill her very quickly, anytime. Augustus Waters, her love interest, has bone cancer that took a leg. There’s also Augustus’ best friend, Isaac who has cancer that takes his vision. And the support-group leader who had ball-cancer (as Hazel refers to it). Other characters include Hazel’s parents and Augustus’ parents, and a very very strange reclusive writer.

I don’t know if this because I’m a mother and/or I’m old, but I related more to Hazel’s mother than any other character. I could literally feel her pain; her only child was dying of cancer. Her father was a fairly one-dimensional crier; Augustus’ parents were rather one-dimensional pithy sentimentalists as well. However, given the sort of hipster trendy vibe I always get when I read John Green stuff, their multi-dimensionalism could have been in the fact that they were one-dimensional. His writing is very meta. (Which is not a concept I can explain except to show some examples. It’s just… meta.)

My biggest issue with this book was Hazel and Augustus’ relationship. Which, as it’s the entire plot of the book, is kind of a problem. I just don’t feel it. Yes, they both have cancer. Yes, he had an ex-girlfriend with cancer. Yes, he’s a little too quirky for most girls (probably). For the record: Hazel is awesome. I want to meet her — and obviously since I’m practically old enough to be her (very young) mom, we would not be friends, but she’s just so awesome. Despite her incredible (also) quirkiness, she really comes across the page in such a way that I felt like I was intruding on really personal moments in her life.

Maybe because Hazel was such an amazing character, everything and everyone else seems a little less sharply defined. I think a book about Hazel without any reference to Augustus would have been excellent.

Three stars out of five.

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Book Review and Giveaway: On the Island by Tracey Garvis-Graves

Posted on May 2, 2012 by Erika

I am almost “speechless” to type this review because you all KNOW how much I love to read. And you all KNOW how much I love to read good, quality contemporary fiction. A lot of the books I’ve recommended in the past have been bestsellers that I’ve gradually gotten around to reading, as I make my way through library holds (and the library drama that ensues). Books like Room by Emma Donoghue, The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern, Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver, Long Drive Home by Will Allison, A Dog’s Purpose by W. Bruce Cameron, Night Road by Kristin Hannah.

I love a good book.

On the Island was a fantastic book.

I took a break from reading when I had butt surgery because I was in so much pain and then I was on so many drugs, I could not have paid attention to a plot if I tried. But after two weeks, I decided to try. And I looked on my Kindle for a highly-reviewed book — I trust reviews from my fellow readers — and I found On the Island by Tracey Garvis-Graves.

Credit: Goodreads.com

From reviews, I deduced the plot as: plane crash. 16yo student and 30yo tutor/teacher. Stranded on island for years. Narrative goes back and forth between T.J. (student) and Anna (teacher/tutor).

I inferred: They eventually hook up. They eventually get off the island.

Thankfully, the reviewers have kept pretty quiet about what happens on and off the island. And I’m not going to share a lot about that either. They learn to live on the island, finding water, starting and maintaining a fire, building a shelter — and battling the conditions. Which include storms, hungry bats, mosquitos, broken bones and illness. T.J. is a cancer survivor — he was supposed to receive summer tutoring from Anna because he’d missed school due to his illness. An emergency supply kit washes up that includes Tylenol and Benadryl. The island has a dry season. And a shark. They occasionally find a crab to eat. Nobody comes to rescue them.

At first, the chapters go day-by-day, but eventually weeks and months pass between chapters. They survive for years. And eventually, as T.J. becomes a man, they… well, you can guess what happens. Although, hand to goddess, it’s not icky, pervy, porny or gross. (And I’m very sensitive, after reading 50 Shades a few times.)

On the Island could have been REALLY cliched. It could have been 50 Shades of Lost, as my friend Amanda referred to it, when I told her I’d just finished a great book, and what it was about. (She hasn’t read it yet, I bet she changes her mind.)

Credit: Flickr/Mr.Dionysos

But it wasn’t cliched. It was incredibly anxiety-provoking — it seems like every horrible thing that you imagine could happen when you’re stranded on a deserted island, does in fact happen — and deeply moving. I had tears in my eyes during several scenes. It was thoughtful, well-written (REALLY well-written; I was totally shocked to discover that the author is just a woman who decided to write a book. It’s pitch-perfect), and deeply engrossing. Extremely difficult to put down. I read it all in one night, then went back the next day and re-read it, as slowly as I could.

I don’t want to rave too much, lest there’s so much build-up that you all hate it, but based on all the reviews, I can’t imagine anyone could NOT like this book. I consider myself a tough critic, and this book never missed a step.

Being totally obnoxious engaging, I contacted the author to let her know how much I’d enjoyed her book. She thanked me very graciously — and then offered to send me a signed copy of the paperback for a reader! How nice is that?!?!?!?

So, while I urge you all to download it on your e-reader — and the price is $2.99, which is extremely reasonable! I’ve downloaded more expensive books that were terrible! — I also urge you to enter this giveaway for a signed paperback copy. Just leave a comment at the end of this post, and you’ll get a  comment number. On my birthday, May 23, I’ll pick a number from the random number generator website. Screenshot will be included.

After the giveaway, I’ll post a F.A.Q of questions that Tracey, the author, has kindly answered for me, despite the fact that she’s probably answered them from a million other people and is hard at work on her next two books.

Filed under: giveaway, Reading | Tagged: , , , , , | 38 Comments »

Book Review: A Dog’s Purpose by W. Bruce Cameron

Posted on July 2, 2011 by Erika

It’s not Marley and Me.

To be clear, it’s about a dog, and all his dog-like behavior, but it’s a unique book, a thoughtful read. And as I sit here with the Dog Without a Downside at my feet, it’s given me renewed love for the little maggot-eater.

The dog narrates as he goes through his various lives. Yes, lives. His first life is short — he’s born to a feral dog mom and lives in the wild until he and his mother and siblings are caught by an informal rescue group. There he lives until the woman in charge attracts the attention of the local animal control, who seize all the dogs and take them to a kill-shelter.

In his second life he’s a puppy mill puppy, a golden retriever, who ends up the blissful companion of an adorable boy and his family.This life is his longest, and most detailed — and happiest. In his life as Bailey he learns about human beings, about being a “good dog,” and about friendship and love.

As he grows up, grows old, and gets reborn, he ponders his purpose. Throughout each life he learns skills that he takes to the next. But why does he continue to be reborn as a puppy? What is the ultimate goal to fulfill?

Each time he is reborn, he (although he’s a “she” in one life) matures a bit and becomes a little more understanding of himself and of other animals in the world, including humans. In his first life he’s an immature puppy; his subsequent lives reflect an older dog’s soul housed in new fur.

Grab the tissues — although it ends happily, with the dog discovering his purpose, there are some weepy moments — and enjoy this beautiful, original story.

A Dog’s Purpose by W. Bruce Cameron

Filed under: dog training, Reading | Tagged: , , , | 2 Comments »

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