Cover Reveal: Facade by Nyrae Dawn @nyraedawn #facade #games

Heres a sneak peek at the cover and blurb for FACADE (book 2 in the Games series) by Nyrae Dawn. I really enjoyed book 1, Charade, and I look forward to reading this in March!

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No one knows who twenty-one year-old Adrian Westfall is behind his façade. After what he’s done, he deserves to live alone with his pain, even if he’d do anything to forget. Anything for a moment of quiet without his past haunting him.

Eighteen year-old Delaney Cross wants nothing more than to absolve her family from her father’s sins. To keep her suicidal mom off that ledge, and help her brother Maddox get the light back in his eyes. She thinks their road to freedom is through Adrian.

Adrian and Delaney are bound together by tragedy… Only Adrian doesn’t know it.

As their lives intertwine, they find a solace in each other they never knew existed. Laney knows she needs to tell him—to come out from behind her smoke screen, but to say the words could mean losing him.

Two people. Two disguises. True love.

Will it be enough to save them when all secrets are bared?

FACADE is a New Adult book and intended for mature audiences.

Put FACADE on your Goodreads to-read list!

NaNoWriMo 2012: WINNER

I won!

Did you ever doubt you would win? 

No, but I think my husband got tired of working all day and coming home to a messier-than-usual house and no plans for dinner while I was busy mumbling at the computer monitor and the kids were running amok.

How did you do it?

I never hit delete. NEVER. Okay, exceedingly rarely. Like, only under absolute duress. If something weird comes out of my fingers, I just go with it. After a while, I kind of had a nice rhythm going, especially between two of my characters.

Any advice?

Try to stay above the fold. You have to average 1667 words per day to win in 30 days. I probably averaged 2500 or 3000 words per day. I finished on Day 19. If you stay above the fold, you have some leeway if you need to take a break to have surgery or host Thanksgiving or something.

Don’t let excuses get you down. November only comes once every 12 months — for 30 days, you can let things go. It will all still be there in December.

Also, I didn’t read anything more than a magazine while I was writing. I didn’t want to accidentally start cribbing from someone or something. (I did sometimes go back and read sex scenes by Abbi Glines and CJ Roberts to give me some ideas. I did not go back and read anything by EL James.)

What’s your novel about?

About a guy in a coma whose ex-girlfriend goes to visit him. Eventually he wakes up with no memory of his past. He pursues a friendship with his ex-girlfriend, much to the chagrin of his best friend and his fiance.

What are you going to do now?

I’m going to publish it.

First I’m going to edit the shit out of it. Then I’m going to edit it again. And probably a few more times for good measure. I like the skeleton of the novel, but writing a novel in 30 days doesn’t exactly inspire Thorough-like turns of phrase. It needs a lot of work. After I edit it, I’m going to hire a professional or three to edit it, and then I’m going to do my due diligence and publish it.

Can I read it?

Right now just two Jugs are reading it, plus NaNolia (hey, Alia! You finally got a nickname!) who reads my NaNo every year. It’s a really rough draft and I don’t think it accurately represents me as a writer YET. You can totally read it when I publish it. My goal is to have it published by Dec 2013. I think that’s totally attainable.

NaNoWriMo 2012

Yeah, I’m doing it. Why not? The following are not excuses:

  • Working 20h per week
  • Being the HBIC of a large family
  • Homeschooling
  • The House

The House gets its own title, because it’s like a living, breathing thing. I could spend all day working on The House. The House would look nice. But after cooking dinner or doing school or taking a nap and letting The Informant color in the living room or paying bills, The House would change immediately into… something else. (House of Horrors?) And it would take a while to get it back under control. It’s like a dragon living in the basement. Except it lives everywhere and requires a lot of clean laundry.

I did NaNoWriMo 2010 when I was 35-39 weeks pregnant with Tax Deduction Porcelain Buffalo. I thought that would be difficult because, well, you know, 35-39 weeks pregnant. I actually finished in 14 days because I was so certain that I’d have the baby early and not be able to finish my novel. JOKE WAS SO ON ME, LIFE. Maybe I should have stretched it longer.

I did NaNoWriMo 2011 when Buffalo was an almost-1yo — that might have been easier because at the time Buffalo, My Masterpiece and The Informant all napped.

As far as interruptions, I’m only concerned about working — my job is 20 hours of each week when I can’t write. Other than that, I can exist on little sleep and write here and there and I’m sure I’ll finish. I probably won’t finish early like I’ve done in years past, but I’ll do it!

My main rules for NaNo are

  1. Never delete
  2. Okay, only delete when absolutely necessary, WHICH IS EXCEEDINGLY RARE.
  3. When in doubt, add an abandoned animal that the MC ends up adopting
  4. There’s usually a nurse involved, and someone in the military. These are my go-to professions.

And just write write write. I try to get a huge head start on the first day — last year I wrote 10K words on day 1 — and keep going!

Are you doing NaNoWriMo 2012? If so, friend me over there — I’m Cincodemommy.

Book Reviews: Slammed; Easy; Gone Girl

First let me get the review of Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn out of the way. This book had a lot of hype and I almost didn’t want to read it because of that. It sounded weird, creepy, maybe even a little scary — I wasn’t sure I wanted to read it. But I did.

The book centers around Nick and Amy, and their relationship before she goes missing, on their fifth wedding anniversary. Immediately, Nick is a suspect. He’s not, shall we say, the most attentive husband. But things aren’t what they seem, and the truth is surprising. Read it — you will not be disappointed.

Amazon

Now on to some self-published authors. My first journey into the world of self-published authors was with my friend Tracey’s book On the Island. Perhaps you’ve heard me mention it before? I trust my fellow readers to know when a book is good, and On the Island had incredibly positive reviews. Tracey was rejected by — 7 or 14, I forget — publishers before she decided to self publish. The publishers must have thought nobody would be interested in some Iowa hayseed’s contemporary romance. Over 300,000 downloads later, she’s now represented by Penguin.

Anyway, there’s a world of self-published books, and what I love about these authors is they believe in themselves enough to say, fuck the publishers, I know I wrote something spectacular and the readers will come! Yes, some self-published books are crap. But once again, intrepid readers before me found the following:

Slammed by Colleen Hoover. 18-year-old Layken has just moved to YPSILANTI, Michigan, of all places, after her father’s unexpected death. She isn’t looking forward to starting over — until she meets her neighbor, Will Cooper. Their connection (and attraction) is instant. However, forces outside their control keep them apart, while simultaneously bringing their families together through their brothers’ friendship. It’s surprising, sad, sweet and full of heart. It’s a short novel, with a follow-up, Point of Retreat. The author is also working on a third book, Will’s Story. Slammed falls squarely into YA, and as such it’s very tame.

Amazon

Easy by Tammara Webber. It starts out with a gut-check — college sophomore Jacqueline is nearly assaulted by a drunken fraternity brother at a party, when Lucas saves her. Although she has never noticed him before, suddenly Lucas is everywhere. Meanwhile, she’s also dealing with the fallout of a recent breakup and coming to terms with the fact that she made some really stupid decisions while in that relationship. She seeks to make Lucas her rebound hook up, but of course, things quickly get more complicated than that. Lucas is hiding a few secrets himself, and the guy who nearly assaulted her won’t give up. This is a great book that I really enjoyed.

Amazon

Gone Girl is expensive; the others are 2.99 or 3.99 on Kindle.

Facebook Likes: Can You Read Me Now? Good.

Lately there has been a lot of uproar about Facebook’s new changes for pages. I have a page for this blog, with all of 152 fans (and remember: at 250, a new giveaway, of something I’ve made! Sorry, my children do not count) and my blogs automatically post there when they go live on wordpress. Apparently my fan page is no longer showing up in the Facebook News Feed unless you have specifically interacted with my page (you haven’t, unless you’re Miss Manners) or request to see it in your feed (ditto).

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This is causing a lot of outrage among Facebook page-owners over the idea of losing fans — or at the least, not reaching fans.

To which I say, Oh, come on!

I agree that having a Facebook page is a nice, easy and convenient way to publicize my material. But the thing is, I only want to publicize if something I’ve written is worth publicizing. Sometimes that happens — and when it does, I might try to create a little more buzz, and encourage people to share it — but if not, feel free to skim or skip a day or two.

I will keep on writing.

My online friend Tracey Garvis Graves is experiencing a huge amount of success right now. You may have heard me mention a book she wrote called “On the Island.” (If you haven’t read about it here, perhaps the title sounds familiar because it’s a bestseller for Amazon, USA Today and The New York Times.) She continues to express gratitude towards those who have read and enjoyed On the Island (aka, everyone) and she’s surprised by her success.

And yet, she’s successful mainly because On the Island is such a beautiful, moving, incredibly well-written book!

My aim is not to write a bestseller (maybe someday), but to write a good blog about patenting, having a big family, colorectal surgery, natural birth and Teen Mom gossip. A blog I can proudly stand behind, that most days can make my readers chuckle, or empathize.

I’m not worried about losing readers. If I write well, and often — I aim for five new blogs per week — you will read. If you read, you’ll continue reading, you’ll share my writing and the world will be filled with goodness and rainbows and stickers-on-shirts-that-I-remember-to-remove-prior-to-washing, so the shirts don’t end up in my back in my drawer with a patch of that sticky residue.

Lessons from Popular Mommy Blogs

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Note: you may wonder how I’m blogging after surgery, since I can’t yet sit down comfortably. The answer is, I’m blogging from my phone or iPad. Yes, it’s kind of annoying and yes, it’s slower than I would type — but it’s frustrating to have things to say and not be able to sit down at the computer. So I write with my index finger.

As I’ve got a lot of time on my hands while I wait to feel better — 1. It takes a while for the painkillers to kick in, and 2. I’m on too many painkillers to follow the plot of an actual book — I’ve been reading blogs. Just recently I wrote that I don’t read enough mommy blogs. I’ve since remedied that.

I’ve been focusing on some of the most well-known — beloved might be a stretch, because many have haters — mommy blogs. Here is what I notice:

1. Lots of photographs. Professional looking photos, although not done by actual professionals. The mom or dad just has a really nice camera and documents everything. I mean everything.

2. Fashion, with Descriptions. At this, I’m obviously lost, because my idea of high fashion is… off the rack at Kohl’s. I cook a lot, and I usually wear Cousin It, and the upshot is that I often have food on my clothes. Or food stains. I refuse to live my life in such a way that I’m actively avoiding stains on my clothes, and I refuse to worry about staining my clothes. Thus captioning a photograph of my usual outfit would include the phrases, “jeans: borrowed from Miss Manners, slightly ripped heel seam from stepping on them,” and “bra — on clearance at Target nursing section because it’s cerulean and nobody wants a cerulean nursing bra.”

3. Baby genius moments. I do not mean an anecdote about something cute their baby did. Every parent is entitled to those. (I am entitled to five. Five!) No, I’m talking about a blogger who comments that her 2.5mo baby is fussy not because of colic or some other baby-related issue, but because baby is so incredibly advanced for its age. You see, baby has the alertness of a four-month-old! At only two-and-a-half-months-old! Thus, because baby is so developmentally advanced, baby gets easily overwhelmed and cries. These are mommy blogger problems.

Reading the blog in which the mommy discussed this issue, I wondered if there is some meta joke-in-joke thing going on, but I decided probably not. Mommy really is that obnoxiously earnest.

4. Sponsorship. This is a no-brainer. Lots of links, lots of giveaways. I’m wondering what’s the chicken and what’s the egg. Do these mommies contact, say, 3m First Aid Bandages and say, “I recently had butt surgery and your gauze pads have been AWESOME while my wound drains! Would you consider sending me some, for a review and some links on my blog?” or does Tylenol contact the mommy and say, “We have read you’re recovering from butt surgery and are in a lot of pain. Please accept this donation of extra strength acetaminophen in exchange for some ad space?” (For the record, I am mostly relying on store-brand pads and Percocet.)

5. Social media savvy. I like social media. A lot. It has been difficult not to share the exact nature of my surgery online, because I subscribe to the belief that if it’s not on Facebook, it didn’t really happen. And yet, if I have nothing blog-related to say, I have nothing blog-related to say. I hate the idea of posting on my Facebook blog page or Twitter just to have an online presence.

Now please enjoy some non-professional pictures. I’d like to throw them in throughout the blog, but the WordPress app prevents that, or I haven’t figured it out yet

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Blogging with Integrity

Perhaps some incredibly astute readers may have noticed that I now credit the pics I add to my blog (when they aren’t mine). This came about because I realized I want to have an above-board blog.

Blog with Integrity has a list of what they consider blogging with integrity, and it boils down to giving credit where it’s due, being transparent about sponsored content and owning the words I type.

**Update: Prom Queen (who hates her nickname and requests another) just asked a really big DUH question — where do you get your photographs? I swear I meant to address this in the original post, but got distracted. I search for photographs that “can be used for commercial purposes” or “can be modified, adapted, or built upon,” using the Creative Commons search. Most of what I use is from Flickr and attribute from there. **

Also, not snarking on other mommy bloggers, which is easy except when I see something written by Kourtney Kardashian about Mason’s moccasins and clothes. I can only imagine this will get worse when Kourtney has a girl. 

As far as sponsorship, I do not have any yet — except I am now one of the Social Ambassadors for the Food Bank of Central and Eastern North Carolina! This means I will promote and write about various programs at the Food Bank. I am happy to do it because (1) volunteering there seems to help Mineral (2) I think their program for children is fantastic (3) they are a really “above-board” charity. They do not turn anyone away, although they work primarily with organizations (so, if a family who needs help comes to them, they will help, but they’ll direct that family to the appropriate organization for long-term help.)

Of course, I’ll note it when I’m blogging specifically for the Food Bank. In case you can’t tell by the fact that the blog will be about the Food Bank.

Food! (moonstarsandpaper.blogspot.com)

If there’s one thing I have absolutely no integrity (about? of? with?) as a blogger, it’s reading other blogs. I am pretty sucky at that. It’s a defensible position given my family responsibilities, Mineral’s needs, homeschooling and my desire for some alone time once in a while that isn’t in front of the computer. Also, I want to read blogs because they’re interesting or well-written (hopefully both) and not because I should be reading other blogs because I want others to read MY blogs, and everyone says the best way to get blog readers is to read others’ blogs. And comment. But not just in a “hey, check out my blog,” way; comment with integrity, yo!

Also, because I am prone to anxiety and black/white thinking, if I read just a blog or two, inevitably I’ll force myself to read like 30 or 43 blogs because there are like ZILLIONS of great blogs that I should read — and then I’ll be too tired to write my own blog.

And I must write my own blog.

I write my blog for me; not because I want anyone to read it. I love that people do read it and I get a thrill when someone shares something I’ve written, but it’s for me. I have ideas and jokes and weird stories (like about mailing dead fish) in my head, and it’s how I express myself. Some people draw, paint, throw pottery, sew, knit, care for animals — I blog.

I am bursting with creativity (Flickr: Jurvetson)

A blog about hating blogs and bloggers!

Did you know there was such a gem in the interwebz?

I found it after hearing from Miss Manners that a VERY popular blogger is getting divorced. I immediately googled for further clarification (since Miss Manners said she’d read it another blog) and found that all of the original blogger’s haters have gathered in one helpful spot to complain about her — and about every other blogger who has sponsorship — at Get Off My Internets.

An aside: I have no idea what went on in her marriage. From what she wrote online, I’m pretty surprised that she’s getting divorced — although it did seem that she spent a lot of time on her own personal endeavors. I can only speak to my own marriage, and I purposely don’t write much about that. I’ve tried, and it sounds like I’m being smug or I’m whining about stuff that every married person whines about — either way, that’s boring.

(Flickr/Miss_Millions)

Anyway, once I got past the shock of the divorce, I got this feeling in the pit of my stomach, like when you think your jeans are really really awesome, but it turns out that high-waisted acid-washed denim pants with pegged ankles are no longer cool, thinking that someone somewhere on GOMI was talking about my blog and me!

I searched. Nothing. I googled my name and GOMI. Nothing. I googled my blog and GOMI. Nothing. And then…

DISAPPOINTED FLOWER (Flickr/Sunsets_for_you)

Jeez. Nobody’s even saying anything BAD about me!

But wait, they’re complaining about mommy bloggers in general:

You know what all the most popular mommy bloggers seem to have in common?  They are all so freakin privileged.  They all have the money and time to put into making their lives picture perfect.  They can afford to be picky about the type of food they feed their children, the clothes they wear, the way they decorate their homes, what type of birth they’ll have, etc. etc, etc.

YOU ARE ALL SO OUT OF TOUCH.  You think the world revolves around sponsors and how many pretty ModCloth outfits you can wear all while pushing your children in the most expensive strollers and acting like life’s a bitch half the time and everything’s coming up roses the other half.  The overposed “candid” family photos.  The organic/vegan food.  The perfect pregnancies with minimal weight gain so you can still maintain that mommyrexia look afterwards. I don’t care how hard you’ve worked for your blog or your job or your family…you still don’t understand what the average mom goes through.  Because the average mom just doesn’t look like you…doesn’t act like you…and from my experience, doesn’t even care half as much as what you seem to care about the stupidest stuff.

At first I thought, “How dare you? I am not privileged!”

But then I thought, “Well, I guess I’m a little privileged.”

(credit:??? some meme on the interwebz)

  • I get to stay home with my kids. Although, to be honest, it’s not entirely a choice: I have only a Bachelor’s degree (in Creative Writing), so there’s nothing financially worthwhile for me to “do” that would even cover day-care bills. Still, even if I had more education (and/or experience) I can’t think of anything I’d rather do than stay home with my kids. Other than write.
  • I homeschool — without much complaining from My Chemical Romance, even though we both went through 17 years of public education and he loved every second of it (or so he says). His high school grades earned him a full academic scholarship to a UC school.
  • I have chosen three of my four births — and I probably would have chosen a hospital birth for Animal and Mineral, although probably not an induction at 34 weeks. I paid for My Masterpiece’s and Cousin It’s births out-of-pocket, despite having health insurance (which, itself, makes me privileged).
  • We eat almost exclusively organic. It’s a struggle because it IS expensive, but My Chemical Romance and I are committed to it.

HOWEVER:

  • Have you not seen the pictures I post? My house is hardly perfect. My floors are covered with a fine layer of dust, clean underwear (Cousin It’s favorite toy), Legos, rubber bands, paper and crayons. And dirt. And mud. (I could go on for a long time with everything in which my floors are covered.)
  • I would love a fancy stroller for when Cousin It gets a little bigger and doesn’t want to be carried in a Boba all the time. I don’t see it happening though — fancy strollers are really expensive. I do have a Britax stroller that I got when I did a car seat study for them.
  • What is ModCloth? Do they sell 8-short or 10-short jeans that are slightly higher waisted than the ridiculous low-rider denim outfits that would hardly cover my dog’s butt-crack? Because that’s really all I think about when I’m looking for jeans. I do not have a single pair of jeans that I’ve purchased — my favorite pair used to belong to Miss Manners and I have a couple pairs from my mom, who is now skinnier than me.
  • My mom is now skinnier than me. I am hardly mommyrexic!

See my table? It always looks like that.

It is true that the average mom doesn’t act like me. That’s okay. I’m totally okay with that. On one hand, yes, I’m awesome. On the other hand, the average mom doesn’t have five kids, so there’s no way to compare me to anyone else. I hope that most of the time I’m relatively sane, but I do cop to moments of total insanity. I yell too much, sometimes. I’m too permissive, other times. There is a lot of stuff on my floors. That’s okay too.

I would love some sponsors! I spent like $15 of my own money on MY GIVEAWAY which ends on February 29 at 11:59PM (est). Have you entered yet?

How to blog: Write Well. Or Don’t.

Because I’m awesome, I think my blog is awesome. Actually, it was only in the last year or so that I really began to embrace my writing — I love writing, I want to write, I’m a writer — and think of my blog as more than just a place where I type out my thoughts.

In the interest of self-improvement, I often Google how to blog, or write a good blog, or write a blog people like. After all, I only have like twenty-something followers (wordpress counts Twitter followers in my “followers” count, and I think half of those people are spammers) and yet I think if people read my blog, they’d enjoy it.

Mikey Likes It!

Most of the articles start with the advice to WRITE WELL.

To which I reply: Touche! Actually, I reply, “Oh, come on.”There’s nothing like intimidating a blogger by telling them that the only way anyone is going to read their blog is if they WRITE WELL. A good piece of writing is like a good round of golf; it doesn’t change in the face of anyone else’s game. It stands alone. And there’s room for a lot of it.

“Write well” wouldn’t be my advice. There are blogs I write that I put a lot of thought and time into — blogs that I think are well written — and blogs that I toss out there because it’s been a few days since I’ve done new content, and people don’t seem to notice much of a difference. In fact, I tend to get more comments on “throwaway” content than stuff I really think about and edit heavily.

My advice on how to blog is not write well, but write often. I think it’s a two-fold process: as you write more you’ll eventually become a better writer, and people will get to know you.

Take Hyperbole-and-a-half. It’s freaking hilarious, clever, intelligent, funny and a lot of other adjectives. It’s incredibly creative — and I really envy bloggers who add that touch of je-ne-sais-quoi, because I DON’T HAVE THAT. I write. I try to add a lot of paragraphs, and I try to stick to a good rhythm or cadence (one of the most important things I learned in creative writing classes), but please don’t ask me to add any kind of sensory experience other than words. I can’t even tell you people how much it pains me to add photographs to this blog. When should I add them? Where in the blog? Why? — but she only posts like once every eleventy-seven weeks.

Likewise, there are blogs I read that are not very exciting/creative/funny/clever/creative, but they churn out content like Monsanto churns out carcinogenic food and I feel like I KNOW THEM and I keep going back to their blog.

But honestly, I could be wrong about it. I’ve been blogging consistently for three years now, and I average about 75 hits per day. Maybe one or two comments (Hi, Melissa! xoxoxo) and sometimes very little traffic. I have a bunch of Facebook likes, but some of that could be because I’m soon going to have a giveaway.

What do you think?

Search Engine Term Story: God Baking the Earth

***This is the first in a (possible) series of stories I will write based on the totally random search terms people use to find my blog. This week’s phrase is “God Baking the Earth.”***

First, God wanted some cookies. She sent her 9-year-old twins to the grocery store, because she is a Free Range God. They rode their bikes and wore helmets, and came back with chocolate chips that were not made by Nestle, because they try to boycott Nestle due to their practice of promoting formula over breastmilk.

God and her children washed their hands because they always do that before cooking and/or baking. Although God’s kitchen is not clean — Mary F. Poppins once said she couldn’t cook in a dirty kitchen, and God replied that if that were the case, she would never cook at all — she likes clean hands. Although not with alcohol based hand sanitizer.

God decided to make peanut butter chocolate chip oatmeal cookies. They are very easy to make, although the recipe doesn’t make as many cookies as God would like. Still, the best way to avoid overindulging in peanut butter chocolate chip oatmeal cookies is to make so few cookies that overindulging really isn’t possible. Alternatively, you can have so many children that overindulging would mean they wouldn’t get any cookies at all and then they would cry and whine about the UNFAIRNESS OF LIFE, and it would be very dramatic.

Once God finished making the batter with Her Masterpiece, she put it in the fridge for an hour. God had read online that putting cookie batter in the fridge for an hour helps the dough keep its shape while baking.

God talked to Mary F. Poppins while she was waiting for the batter to chill. Mary F. Poppins told God that in Germany, everyone puts the batter in the fridge to chill before baking. Those Germans — so smart! Except for that whole Nazi thing.

God and Her Masterpiece and The Informant baked the cookies for exactly 11 minutes and they came out perfectly! They were moist in the middle and slightly crunchy on the outside. The peanut butter really gives a great consistency. God tried not to drink any milk after eating some cookies because she’s lactose intolerant, but fresh cookies (with peanut butter) and water just doesn’t cut it. God had some milk.

Afterwards, she decided that the only encore to baking such wonderful cookies would be to bake the earth. The end.

God’s Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies

  • 1/2 cup butter, softened
  • 1/2 cup packed brown sugar
  • 1/3 cup white sugar
  • 1/2 cup peanut butter
  • 1 egg
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1 cup all-purpose flour
  • 1/2 cup old-fashioned oats
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 12oz chocolate chips

Directions

  1. In a mixing bowl, cream butter and sugars; beat in peanut butter, egg and vanilla. Combine flour, oats, baking soda and salt; stir into the creamed mixture. Stir in chocolate chips. CHILL BATTER FOR ONE HOUR IN FRIDGE. Drop by rounded tablespoonfuls onto ungreased baking sheets. Bake at 350 degrees F for 10-12 minutes or until golden brown. Cool 1 minute before removing to a wire rack.

 

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