My birthday is in about two weeks. I’m turning 33. Yes, I know, zomg!! I’m so young! Especially when you consider my childrens’ combined age is 30. Phew.
I’m going to be the age my mom was when I was born. In 1979, that was practically being a middle-age mom. I don’t think of myself as a kid, or young, but sometimes I feel a bit scattered for 33. Shouldn’t I have a better idea of what I want to do when I grow up? Shouldn’t I have some more stability, rather than just taking every day as it comes (and hoping for a nap)? Sometimes I feel sort of flaky and disorganized, like I’m juggling-knives-that-also-happen-to-be-on-fire. That probably comes with having so many children, but other women my age seem much more together than I feel.
There are things I accept, now that I’m turning 33. I accept that I enjoy cooking and hate cleaning. I accept that despite missing pop culture, it will be years before I can watch tv regularly again. Also I’m crossing off “run a marathon” AND “do a triathlon” from my bucket list. (I would, however, like to try Zumba.) I accept that where I live is dependent on My Chemical Romance’s career, rather than my desires. And that drinking milk makes my stomach hurt (that took FOREVER to accept, but for the most part, I’m over eating foods that hurt me). Also, I accept that writing is my only form of creativity — but that’s okay. I’m a good writer, and at least I have one form of creativity in me!
Another thing I think about, as my 33rd birthday approaches: My birth dad never saw 33. I am going to be older than he ever was. He’s younger even than my husband, frozen forever in some very dated photographs. It’s so sad, even though he is more conceptual to me than anything, especially because he has no living family. But conceptual still counts — I have often explained the idea of a birth dad to Animal and Mineral. My Chemical Romance adopted them when they were 3, just like my dad adopted me when I was 8. We all three have birth dads. Theirs is alive as far as I know; mine died when he was 32. I’m almost 33 and I have a lot of life in me.
MOMMYBLOGGERFASHIN’ (at 32)
Hair: Washed! With EO brand (no SLS or SLES) shampoo, from Whole Foods.
Face: make up (a little). Bare Minerals or Pure Minerals or something, for powder and blush, plus Lancôme mascara, which I love.
Shirt and shorts: Kohl’s, Croft&Barrow (I might need a solid-color-tshirt-and-shorts intervention but come on! My shorts are pink!)
Shoes: Toms. No flip-flops til I get a pedicure.